A few weeks ago, my daughter’s school had their Open House where we get to see how far they’ve come since the beginning of the year – wow, what a difference! My favorite part was reading a piece she wrote in her journal: My Grandpa Helped (Me) to Face my Fierce (Fears) – so cute and sweet! Can you tell she has a coach for a parent J??
“Grandpa” is Tom’s stepfather. My mother-in-law remarried before Tom and I did, but the big girls were little at the time and called him “Grandpa Tommy”. These days, he’s mostly “grandpa” and he gives the girls so much love – even though they aren’t his biological grandkids. He gives them that special “something” that grandparents give!
For many step and blended families, however, this isn’t the case. In fact, I had some issues with my family sometimes not treating my “big girls” the same as my youngest. Everyone was nice to them, they just didn’t get that “special something” that kids should get.
I finally had to have some uncomfortable and sometimes heated conversations with my side of the family about this. It wasn’t easy, but I had to talk to them about MY relationship with them as well as the girls’ relationship with them. Over time, things have gotten better!
I started thinking about the roles grandparents and our family members play when becoming a step or blended family. It is complex and runs deeper than we realize, but often, it can make or break the success of a second marriage.
If you are having some issues around this, grab a cup of coffee and take a few minutes to read this week’s article Getting that “Something Special” from Grandparents for Your Step-kids
Be well, Blend Well,